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from Mainstay by Speed Of Life

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An illusion I was asking to disappear. The illusion that I am alone, am not being helped or cared for and that I don’t need anyone. I was longing for connection but wasn’t finding it. The song was an attempt to allow myself to be intimate with others without allowing my insecurities and judgments to get in the way.


(Zay, Taylor, Tobias)

I don't want anyone to take care of me
I don't want anyone to know who I am
Behind my mask I hide my needs
Behind my eyes I am sad

Keep your eyes open
They wash away the pain
Keep your eyes open
No ones pushed you away

Sabotage by disappointing you
I'm scared my needs will start to hurt you
Don't want to lose myself in your imagined demands
If I'm not being the best I cut off my hands

Keep your eyes open
They wash away the pain
Keep your eyes open
No ones pushed you away

Stuck in a place with no intimacy
Afraid to reach out my hand
and all the reasons I am wrong for you
Need to disappear in the sand


from Mainstay, released November 22, 2004


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Speed Of Life New York

Brooklyn Based Speed Of Life Incorporated Progressive - Alternative Rock with Live Drum & Bass. The Band members were John Zay Maschio on Guitar, Vocals & Keys, Taylor Bergren-Chrisman on Bass & Tobias Ralph on Drums. Active from 2001 - 2008.

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